I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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