We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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