I don't usually arrange sex via text message
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
