It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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