frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
