it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
