Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
