I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
