she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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