i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize