She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
