ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
