I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
