omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
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I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
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Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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