can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
