Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
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Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle