I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?