end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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