did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on