I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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