Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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