of course. lets lasso hookers.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
