Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
This baby is an asshole
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i out mim tonsoeep
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