yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize