i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
