there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You are the jesus of drinking
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
