dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Randomize
