My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize