All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize