You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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