People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
