Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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