apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
