dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
