okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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