My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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