I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
