This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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