so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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