And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize