Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
