this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
