dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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