6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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