she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
