he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
