Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
her vagine was all disorganized.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
