Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
