yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
