i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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