She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize