did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
