hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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