I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
