He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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