My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
