Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
