Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
