No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Randomize