I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
