A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you traded sex for a burrito?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
