she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
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Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
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COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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