Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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