She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
