Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
