i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you would pick up someone in the library
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
