I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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