I think scott just propositioned me for sex
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
